PEAS on a Beach

My sons and I sat on the white, sandy beach of Waikiki. We'd traveled there to celebrate my 50th birthday. As we stared out at the beautiful Pacific, we talked openly and honestly about the turn our lives had taken, and how we'd untangle the future.

During the conversation, I was reminded of something I'd only recently been made aware of: my sons and I seem to have a natural tendency to encourage others. When I'm at work, or out to dinner with friends, or out shopping, it's become natural to say something nice to someone. When my sons are at school or at work, other people are drawn to their inclusive and caring dispositions. I used to view this personality trait as no big deal, but now I see it for what it is: a gift.

As wave after wave crashed against the shore, an idea was born: what if we widened our reach and helped other people? Not just our co-workers and friends, although that's wonderful. What if we created a way to help strangers? People who've lost hope and their will? What if people were experiencing trauma and chaos, and needed someone to turn to? This was something that was within our reach. It was something we were naturally equipped to do.

We'd ordered pizza on the beach, so I grabbed a Dominoes napkin and wrote:

Encouragement
Advice
Support

That crumpled napkin sat in my purse for months, kind of forgotten in all the chaos going on in our own lives. Until October, when I read something about "...one God-given idea." I'd felt it was a God-given idea right there on the beach, but I hadn't done anything with it. Now I felt compelled to do something with it.

What name could we give it? We began with E, A, and S. Not sure what to do with that, but let's marinate on it for a while. Then I attended a prayer vigil put on by my church, to support the victims and survivors of the Las Vegas shooting. That's when it hit me: add P for prayer. The most vital ingredient. I called the boys on my way home, excited. Our name would be PEAS (prayer, encouragement, advice, support).

We dove in. We created the site, and www.peashelp.com was born. We created a youtube channel. We created social media accounts. It's all still in the infancy stage, but it's out there. We're ready to help others. Our pain will not be wasted.

My hope is that you'll visit peashelp.com whenever you need prayer, encouragement, advice, or support. Simply choose a button, and you'll receive a confidential response. Also, by subscribing to our youtube channel, you'll never miss a video. And please, spread the word. You never know what other people are going through.

Until next time...

Forgive, Pray, Forward

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There's quite a bit of turmoil going on in my family right now. My boys and I, the four of us, are solid. My oldest son says we're like four wheels of a car, moving together in unison. I love that imagery. But where their dad is concerned, there's definitely darkness and division.

Too often in prayer I ramble on and do all the talking. But sometimes, when I stop my rambling (and let's be honest--complaining), I feel as if God is speaking directly to me. Words float in my mind that are not from me. They couldn't be. 

Recently, these words came to me in a moment of quiet listening:

Forgive him

Pray for him

Look forward

Forgive Him

I've blogged about this before. And I'm totally up front with you when I say this is my biggest struggle. Thankfully, I don't have to do this on my own or in my own power. I pray over it. I ask God to help me forgive. I don't want to carry that heavy baggage wherever I go. Does he deserve my forgiveness? That's not the question. Have I been commanded to do it? Yes.

Pray for Him

I've blogged about this before as well. The Bible says, "bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you." (Luke 6:28) This is soooo hard to do (right up there with forgiveness). When my negative thoughts turn to blaming, bitterness, judgement, and anger, that's when I know it's time to shut off that junk and pray for him. Does he deserve my prayer? That's not the question. Have I been commanded to do it? Yes.

Look Forward

Ah, here is where things get interesting. For so long I've been praying for healing and restoration, despite my circumstances. Little by little, though, God has been working on me. He's teaching me to stop looking behind, and to instead look forward. My precious son sent me this verse one day: 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

--Jeremiah 29:11-13

Prosper me, not harm me. Hope and a future. These are gifts that this faith journey has given me. First of all, I've been blessed with a son who sends me that verse! But I've been blessed with this beautiful faith that reminds me to live with expectancy.

Wherever you are in your own journey, whether it's in the beginning--in the "what the heck just happened" phase--or somewhere else down the road, here's my advice: pray. But don't just tell God all your problems. He already knows. Come to Him with your hurts and concerns, and He will give you rest. But also come to Him and listen. Get quiet, and wait. See what He plants in your heart.

Until next time...

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Call On Your Warriors

(photo credit--click here to participate in this lovely prayer chain)

I crumpled on the cool bathroom tiles, crying. I'd learned something deeply painful about my husband and my sons. I was away from home and had zero control over the situation.

I cried out to God, asking Him to help, to intercede, to speak to the hearts of those involved. But my prayers felt so weak and insignificant. I, too, felt weak and insignificant.

And alone. But like I mentioned in last week's post, I am never alone.

Normally in these moments of struggle, I kneel in prayer in a quiet room by myself. It's between me and God. But this time, I felt a strong need to reach out to others for prayer. I listened to that need and immediately reached out.

I connected with my life group ladies, my sisters, and other prayer-warrior friends. I gave them a brief summary of why I was struggling, and asked for prayer.

Then I felt it...the love, the strength, the courage, the peace. It rolled over me in a tidal wave of goodness. 

All of that prayer may not have changed the situation, but it changed me. 

When we're struggling, it's natural to close up and be tempted to handle everything on our own. It's sort of a self-preservation thing. I can handle this. No one else needs to know how broken I feel.

Perhaps that's true some of the time. It's not healthy to be in constant struggle, or daily pouring out our business to other people. 

But there are moments when we're in deep need of prayer by others. It's o.k. to not have it all together all the time, and it's o.k. for others to know, Hey, I'm on the edge here. I'm sending out an SOS.

You may be feeling lost, scared, confused, bitter, broken, and powerless. You may cry in the middle of the night, and wake with a heaviness you can't seem to shake. You may feel afraid to reach out, because then someone will know that all is not right with you. I understand those feelings.

Let me encourage you to reach out to someone you trust--a close friend, a family member, a local church (even if you don't attend). There are multiple ministries that have websites and phone lines where you can ask for prayer. Here are the links for Trinity Broadcasting Network, Joel Osteen and Rick Warren's Daily Hope.

Finally, I am always here for you. I'd consider it an honor to pray for you. Each comment on this blog is monitored and published by me and me only. I approve comments before they appear in the comments section below. Simply leave a comment asking for prayer. I'll read it, pray over you continually, and then not publish the comment. No one will know except you and me.

We all need people in our lives who've got our back, and who we can turn to in times of trial. You'd want to know if someone you cared about was struggling, right? Well, the people close to you would want to know you're in deep need. Let them help you. Let them pray over you. Then let the flood of those prayers give you the peace you seek.

Until next time...

Who's On Your Mind?

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I woke in the morning, full of negative thoughts about my husband:

Because of him, this is a mess. 

Because of his selfish decisions, the boys and I are forced to do this.

On and on those negative thoughts churned in my head. Thankfully I caught myself pretty quickly and switched my thoughts to something more productive. 

Not long after that, I saw the above tweet come across my feed. It really made me think. 

"If you can't get someone off your mind--pray for them--you may be the only one that cares enough to do so."

It was as if God tapped me on the shoulder, saying, "Remember how I asked you to pray for those who persecute you?"

Ugh.

And so I stopped what I was doing and prayed for my husband. Then I showed it to my sons and asked them to do the same.

Who cares enough about my husband, their father, to pray for him? The people he's surrounding himself with these days? It seems unlikely. 

He can walk away from our family. He can reject our marriage vows. But he can't refuse our prayers for him. He's powerless to stop them.

Whoever has caused you pain, whoever has rejected you, whoever has made you feel like yesterday's trash, I'll bet they're on your mind a lot. 

Would you consider praying for them? As the tweet suggests, you may be the only person who cares enough to do so. 

Until next time...

Be Kind? Are You Serious?

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Confession: there have been times when I’ve been nasty and rude to my husband. Especially after he left me and our three teenage sons two years ago. When I’m hurt, I come out swinging.

I used to be easily offended, angered, and made bitter. Perhaps you’d look at my situation and say, “I don’t blame her. Look at what he did to her and her kids!” And to be honest, I sometimes feel a certain satisfaction in that.

I’m not innocent, I'm not perfect. I’m normal.

Soon after I invited God into my circumstances, I learned of this scripture: “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” Luke 6:28 (NLT)

Bless him? Pray for him? God, are you serious? You expect me to be kind to him in the midst of all the wreckage he’s left behind?

*Sigh* Yep.

Notice I didn’t say, “Accept what he did as ok,” or, “Stand in line to get trampled on again,” or “Trust him.” Nope, none of that.

Let me clear up a couple of things. Yes, God asks us to bless those who curse us, and pray for those who hurt us. It’s a way of following Jesus’ example. But you know what else? He asks us to do it because it brings us peace. I’ve learned that when God asks us to do something difficult, like be kind to someone who’s deeply hurting us, it’s not because he’s a cosmic meanie who’s trying make us crazy. It’s because He loves us deeply and knows what’s best for us.

Does God love you? Yep.

Does God love the person who’s causing you so much pain? Yep.

Here are some truths I’ve learned:

• Hurting people hurt people.
• The person who’s hurting you can reject you, but he can’t reject your prayer.
• Holding a grudge against someone hurts you more than the other person.
• Praying for your person can bring you peace.

I may sound like a completely crazy person, and believe me, sometimes I feel like I am. But I’ll share with you what I now do. And I definitely do not have 100% accuracy with this, lest I sound like I’m wonderfully spiritual.

When a negative, angry, or judgemental thought comes into my mind about him, I turn it around. I bless him and pray for him. Is it difficult? Yes. Do I sometimes neglect to do this, and instead marinate in anger? Yes. Remember that part about me not being perfect?

I invite you to try it. Whenever a negative, angry, or judgemental thought comes into your mind about your person, turn it around. Pray for your person. Pray for healing in their mind, heart, and soul. Ask for them to be blessed. If you try this, I’d love to hear how it makes you feel.

If you need help with what to pray, Kimberly Wagner wrote a great post about How to Pray for Your Man.

Until next time...

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