Be Kind? Are You Serious?

(photo credit)

Confession: there have been times when I’ve been nasty and rude to my husband. Especially after he left me and our three teenage sons two years ago. When I’m hurt, I come out swinging.

I used to be easily offended, angered, and made bitter. Perhaps you’d look at my situation and say, “I don’t blame her. Look at what he did to her and her kids!” And to be honest, I sometimes feel a certain satisfaction in that.

I’m not innocent, I'm not perfect. I’m normal.

Soon after I invited God into my circumstances, I learned of this scripture: “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” Luke 6:28 (NLT)

Bless him? Pray for him? God, are you serious? You expect me to be kind to him in the midst of all the wreckage he’s left behind?

*Sigh* Yep.

Notice I didn’t say, “Accept what he did as ok,” or, “Stand in line to get trampled on again,” or “Trust him.” Nope, none of that.

Let me clear up a couple of things. Yes, God asks us to bless those who curse us, and pray for those who hurt us. It’s a way of following Jesus’ example. But you know what else? He asks us to do it because it brings us peace. I’ve learned that when God asks us to do something difficult, like be kind to someone who’s deeply hurting us, it’s not because he’s a cosmic meanie who’s trying make us crazy. It’s because He loves us deeply and knows what’s best for us.

Does God love you? Yep.

Does God love the person who’s causing you so much pain? Yep.

Here are some truths I’ve learned:

• Hurting people hurt people.
• The person who’s hurting you can reject you, but he can’t reject your prayer.
• Holding a grudge against someone hurts you more than the other person.
• Praying for your person can bring you peace.

I may sound like a completely crazy person, and believe me, sometimes I feel like I am. But I’ll share with you what I now do. And I definitely do not have 100% accuracy with this, lest I sound like I’m wonderfully spiritual.

When a negative, angry, or judgemental thought comes into my mind about him, I turn it around. I bless him and pray for him. Is it difficult? Yes. Do I sometimes neglect to do this, and instead marinate in anger? Yes. Remember that part about me not being perfect?

I invite you to try it. Whenever a negative, angry, or judgemental thought comes into your mind about your person, turn it around. Pray for your person. Pray for healing in their mind, heart, and soul. Ask for them to be blessed. If you try this, I’d love to hear how it makes you feel.

If you need help with what to pray, Kimberly Wagner wrote a great post about How to Pray for Your Man.

Until next time...

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