Scars Tell Stories

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There's a story behind every scar. 

An enthusiastic football player might excitedly tell the story about how he got that cleat-shaped scar on his shin...how he rushed those extra yards and made the touchdown, despite the punctured skin. 

The ex-con might be less enthused to tell the story of how he got that silver scar across his cheek. 

My life group friend is a Purple Heart recipient. His scars tell a story of uncommon bravery and perseverance.

Battles leave scars. Sometimes visible, sometimes invisible. Battles also change our identities.

The Bible tells the story of Jacob, and how after his wrestling match with God, his name was changed to Israel. After Saul of Tarsus encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus, he became the Apostle Paul. 

My season of difficulty has changed me. It's humbled me. It's softened me. It's changed my outlook, my priorities, and my walk with God. It's changed my sons. It's altered our life courses in ways I never imagined. 

I can finally write about my struggles, but I still can't talk openly about them in person. They're too raw and painful. But my struggles are leaving scars that can become beautiful.

Just as the breast cancer survivor can point to her purple scar and say, "See? I'm a fighter and an overcomer. Let me help you through your battle." The wounded warrior can point to his jagged scars and say, "I survived. I made a difference. You, fellow warrior, made a difference, too." That's beautiful. 

The wounds in our hearts and in our minds may take longer than the physical wounds to heal. And perhaps they never completely go away. They leave scars. But those scars tell stories. And in the telling of our stories, hopefully we can inspire and encourage others. 

Throughout my trials, God has transformed me into a fighter, a worshiper, a forgiver. He's given me the quiet confidence that He's got my back, and that my scars are here for a reason. 

This blog tells the story of my scars. The ugly scars, the bumpy scars, the embarrassing scars, and the beautiful scars. 

Whatever scars you've developed in your trials, I want you to know you're beautiful. Just the way you are. Ultimately, you'll use those scars to help others. Because that's how it works. Those who've gone forth in battle help those who come behind.

Until next time...

Don't Waste Your Pain

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I listened to a series of podcasts by Rick Warren of Daily Hope entitled Never Waste Your Pain parts one and two. Joel Osteen also has a wonderful message, Don't Waste Your Pain.

In a nutshell, Warren teaches how God uses pain to help us fulfill our purpose. We shouldn't be ashamed of our pain--we should use it. (By the way, I'm still sometimes ashamed of what's going on in my family, even though I can't control it. Obviously more growth is needed in this area!)

This blog was formed out of my own pain, and my sincere hope is that it'll help others who are going through similar situations. Before this pain barreled into my life uninvited, my thoughts were all about me, me, me. Even now I still struggle with self-centered thoughts and wishes, but hey, we're all works in progress, right?

How is pain used to fulfill God's purpose for our lives?

1. God uses pain to draw us closer to Him. People either run to God or away from God. I'm so thankful I'm in the "run to" camp. Seriously. I have no idea how people go through such trauma without faith in their lives. I've had to learn how to surrender it all, and allow Him to work within me. 2 Corinthians 4:8 says this: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." I wouldn't have learned this truth without going through pain.
2. God uses pain to draw me closer to others. Warren called this "the fellowship of suffering." In other words, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Pain can teach us how to really love. I see people so differently now. If someone is acting angrily or irrationally, I now recognize that they're going through some sort of pain themselves. Going through pain teaches us to reach out and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. It's taught me to (try to) keep my eyes off myself. 
3. I can use pain to become more like Jesus. This is all about growth in character. I've noticed it not only in myself, but in my three sons as well. Galatians 5:22-23 teaches "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Have I experienced tremendous growth in each of these areas? Yep. How? We learn to grow in these areas by going through difficulty. But that growth is a choice. Some people allow pain to make them bitter. But Proverbs 20:30 teaches how a painful situation can change our ways and build resilience; "Blows and wounds scrub away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being."
   
4. I can use my pain to help others. As I mentioned, this blog was born from my own pain. Sure, I kept it all bottled up inside for a while. But then I felt pressed to speak out about my pain, and how I've coped and what I've learned from it. We will all experience pain. God has patiently taught me how to take a moment to stop complaining and pay attention to the needs of others. He's taught me how to pull myself out of my pity party and refocus on the pain of others. He's taught me how to encourage others who are in pain. 2 Corinthians 1:4 reminds us of this beautiful truth: "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." Who better to help someone who's going through cancer than a cancer survivor? Who can better help a victim of rape than another victim of rape?
5. I can use my pain to witness to the world. When I hear the word "evangelism," I get very nervous. But Warren reminds us that the highest form of evangelizing is to witness during our pain. The world isn't impressed with how we handle prosperity. Sheesh, anyone can handle prosperity and good times well. No, it's all about how we handle adversity. Our successes don't give us credibility...what gives us credibility is how we handle difficulties. Case in point: I've always been impressed by my sons, but the way they've handled this adversity makes them even more impressive. And now they're out there helping others who are hurting. What a beautiful gift that was born out of tremendous pain.

Our deepest life message will come out of our deepest pain. As hard as the pain is to go through, it's important to remind ourselves that we're "going through." We don't have to remain stuck in the painful place. 

We will all experience pain in our lives. The question is, will we use it for good? Or will it be wasted?

Until next time...