Give It a Rest

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I'd just experienced a rough couple of days, and was feeling a bit raw and vulnerable. I was reading through my devotionals, which is now my morning routine. 

Joyce Meyer's app, one of my favorites, had posted the following verse. If you're struggling with anything--if you're feeling tired, if your emotions are like a runaway train, if you're wondering "when will this stop??"--I encourage you to read this verse slowly. Savor every single word.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. --Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

When I read this verse, it was like sinking into a hot bubble bath. 

Deep breath. 
Slow exhale. 
Ahh. 

"Unforced rhythms of grace" is so beautiful, isn't it?

It's moments like these when I'm reminded that it's ok that I don't have the answers. It's ok that I'm not wise enough on my own. It's ok that I make a zillion mistakes every day. It's ok. I'm learning the unforced rhythms of grace. 

Grace = unmerited favor. Grace means God fills in my gaps. He walks beside me and protects me and my sons. He comforts me through His presence, or through the presence of others. He's straightening my path.

When He says "Come to me," I must remember that He's not saying, "Come to me when you've got your act together." Or, "Come to me when you're not a jerk." Or, "Come to me when you do everything right." He wants me to come to Him, just as I am. Cracks, warts, sharp edges and all.

If you're anything like me, you try to figure everything out on your own. You try to plan for every contingency. You try to guard yourself against calamity. For decades, I paid for insurance for anything I could insure, and yet I couldn't insure against pain and heartache.

That was my way. And my way doesn't work. I'm slowly learning to do things His way.

Whatever it is you're going through, my hope and prayer is that you'll come to Him and find rest.

Until next time...

Goodbye, Nest

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Have you heard about how eagles teach their young to fly? They push them out of the nest! Good grief, that seems harsh, doesn't it?

When I reflect back on the past few years, I can see this process taking place in my own life. If my husband hadn't left, I never would've ventured forth and taken risks like I do now. I wouldn't have clung to God in faith. I wouldn't have gone on a mission trip or started this blog. I wouldn't have taken the courageous step of starting a new career at 50. All of this happened because the comfortable nest I'd relied upon was plucked away.

I can become quite stuck in my ways. It takes a stick of dynamite to make me move. I enjoy stability and comfort just as much as the next gal. But when we're comfortable, we aren't growing. We're stagnant. Boy, have I been there.

Joyce Meyer (one of my favorite teachers) wrote the following devotional. I'll copy and paste it here for easy reference, but if you're struggling in ANY area of your life, or if you're looking to be inspired or become a blessing to someone else, I highly recommend you stroll around her web site. 

From Joyce Meyer:

Nudged Out of the Nest

As an eagle that stirs up her nest, that flutters over her young, He spread abroad His wings and He took them, He bore them on His pinions. —Deuteronomy 32:11

Baby eagles spend the first three months of their lives in the comfortable nest their parents have prepared. But the eaglets get a big surprise when they are about twelve weeks old. Their mother suddenly begins to throw all of their toys out of the nest.

Next, she begins to pull out all of the comfortable material in the nest—the feathers and the animal fur—and leaves the babies sitting on thorns and sticks. This is what the Bible means when it mentions that the mother eagle “stirs up her nest.” The reason she stirs the nest is that she wants her babies to get out and fly.

Before long, the mother eagle begins to nudge them out of the nest. The little eaglets, who have no idea how to fly, fall through the sky, probably very frightened. Soon, though, they hear a “whoooooooosh” as the mother eagle swoops up under them to catch them. At that point, the mother eagle takes the babies right back up to the nest and then nudges them out again. She keeps repeating the process, over and over again, until they finally understand that they have no choice but to fly.

The mother eagle does this because she loves them and wants them to have the best lives they can possibly have. Most eaglets won’t get out of the nest without this push. Similarly, most of us will also choose comfort over challenge unless we have no choice at all.

Do you feel God is working in your life the same way the mother eagle does with her young? Has He been pulling some of the padding out of your nest so you find yourself sitting on prickly branches? Is He saying to you, “Come on, it is time to fly”? If so, remember the mother eagle’s intentions and know that you can trust God’s good intentions for you.

If you're afraid to leave your nest, I totally understand. My hope and prayer is that you'll take that leap of faith, knowing your Heavenly Father is there to catch you and help you fly.

Until next time...

What's The Point?

 

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It wasn't until later in my difficult season that I was awakened to the idea that there might be a point to what I've gone through. Some of my favorite sayings have become:

"Nothing is wasted."

"Your mess becomes your message."

"Your test can become your testimony."

It's difficult to see this when we're in the midst of deep sorrow. Confusion is a mighty enemy that can drag us down, down, down, until we spend most of our time wondering, What the heck just happened?

Joyce Meyer has an amazing story. As a child, she was sexually abused by her father. This went on for years and years. Her mom, even though she knew about it, didn't help. I can't imagine what that was like. If you haven't yet heard her story, you can listen to it here. It's disturbing, it's painful to hear, and it's powerful.

I listened to another one of her messages, Unshakeable Trust, Part 2. In this message she refers to her painful childhood, and how confused she'd been for so many years. Later she had this epiphany (I'll paraphrase): What if the reason I went through such trials was because some day I'd need to be bold enough to speak out about such horror? What if it was up to me to encourage other victims of sexual abuse? What if that painful season in my life was so I could later use it to help others?

Over the Christmas holiday, my sons and I took a Hawaiian cruise that was meant to include our whole family. Despite the turmoil in our lives, we enjoyed it. Heck, it was paid for. Might as well have fun!

While on that cruise, I came into contact with some amazing people. I connected with a fire chief who knows my husband and was deeply shocked and saddened by what had happened (my son confided in him). We also met a family where the father had experienced something similar in his young life. His dad walked out on their family, leaving his mom to pick up the pieces. 

I lay in bed one morning during that trip, thinking about how frustrating it was to see families destroyed by one person's destructive decisions. It didn't make sense to me. I thought of ways I could connect with the fire chief and go from fire station to fire station, sharing my story and how it's impacted our family. I'd encourage every firefighter to stay, figure it out, get help. Don't leave your family! Don't take what seems like the easy way out.

But then another idea came to me. What if I could speak to first responders and their families through a blog? I like to write, I have a passion about the subject, and I was slowly finding my voice. That's how this blog was born.

How many people are reading it? How many people has it helped? I don't check statistics, but I do hear stories. Before launching the blog, I prayed that the right people would find it at the right time. It'll always be here for anyone who needs it.

I still don't understand what's happened to us, and I still struggle with truckloads of negative emotions. But I've also done a lot of soul-searching and healing. My spiritual journey has been amazingly beautiful.

Whatever it is we go through in life, if we can look at it through the lens of "Nothing is wasted," "My mess can become my message," and "My test can become my testimony," we can see that something bigger is at play here.

What is that for you? What is that for me? I don't know for sure. But if our hearts are open to the possibility, we can see that oftentimes our struggles can be training ground for something powerful.

Until next time...

Just Keep Swimming

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"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -- Nelson Mandela

There have been times in the past couple of years when I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I'd wake with a heaviness on my heart that was seemingly impossible to bear. Immediately my mind filled with all that was wrong in my world, and all that was ahead of me. Soon the despair was difficult to shake. 

On those days, it helped tremendously that I was raising three sons. I couldn't simply waste the day away. The boys had to be cared for, loved, and given attention. Permission slips needed to be signed, classes chosen for the next semester, etc. I had to keep moving.

There's a scene in the film, "Finding Nemo" when Nemo's dad thinks all is lost. Dory encourages him by singing, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." Those three words have become an anthem of sorts...instructions on what to do when we don't know what to do.

As we go through trials, sometimes all we can do is simply put one foot in front of the other. Move. Do something. Anything. 

I'm reading Joyce Meyer's book "Get Your Hopes Up." She likes to call it her happy book.

She points out that when people are hurt and frightened, they become passive. They freeze, and stop moving. That absolutely describes me in the early days of this hurtful season in my life.

Meyer says this: "If you've dealt with a hurt that has you frozen in your tracks, I'm not making light of your pain. Trust me; I've gone through plenty of trying times that have hurt so badly I felt like I couldn't keep going. I understand what you're going through, because I too have felt paralyzed by a hardship. But I do want to encourage you in the midst of your pain that sometimes the very best thing you can do is just keep moving.

You may not have all the answers yet. You may still be shocked by the circumstances. You may even feel like the world is caving in around you. But in the midst of those difficulties, if you'll just keep moving, it will help you not to become hopeless."

Hope. It's impossible to live without it. During times of trouble, if we remain hopeful about what's ahead, it'll help get us through trials. 

If you're in the midst of your own struggle, I want to encourage you to just keep swimming. Move forward. Take steps of faith, even if they're small and wear you out. Even if the one thing you do today is not give up hope, that's something. 

Take these words from Joyce Meyer's book to heart: "If you're not walking, you have no hope of arriving somewhere new."

Until next time...

Get Yourself Off Your Mind

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Do you spend a lot of time with yourself on your mind? Me, too. I mean, seriously, I have myself on my mind way too much.

After my husband left home two years ago, I felt such deep despair. Like I mentioned in earlier posts, I invited God into my circumstances and began a spiritual journey that I wouldn’t ever take back.

I was attending a local church at the time, but I’d only go maybe once every two or three months. Besides my family, I didn’t even know anyone else who went there. It’s kind of a big church, and I never attempted to make it smaller by joining in.

Two years ago that changed. As I began seeking God, I felt a strong desire to get plugged in to the church. I joined a Life Group, which is a small group that meets each week. I started volunteering at the weekly homeless outreach. I went on a short mission trip. I volunteered in the church office. I volunteered at church services and special events. I now help with the pre-teen group.

Joyce Meyer has an excellent series based on the verse Psalms 37:3, “Trust in the Lord, and do good.” I love this teaching of hers because it’s such simple advice. When you’re struggling, when you’re confused, when you’re hurting, when you don’t know what to do, just trust God and do good.

The first part of the verse, “Trust in the Lord,” is a biggie. I’ll write a whole other post about that. The second part, “and do good,” was newer to me. I’ve often volunteered at school and for sports teams, and I’d even volunteered at our church to package meals for their “million meals” endeavor. But this time I yearned to do more.

When our hearts are hurting, it’s very easy to turn inward. It’s natural to isolate yourself and to dwell on the negative aspects of your life 24/7. But it’s not healthy. Believe me, stepping out to do these new things was very difficult. Showing up for Life Group as the only single person was daunting. But now these folks are some of my closest and most dear friends. Going on a mission trip alone, without knowing another person, was also daunting. But I made lasting friendships on that trip. Helping with the homeless outreach was intimidating at first, until I realized...it’s not about me! It’s about helping the other person who’s down on their luck.

Connecting with your local church is a great way to meet new people who are kind, compassionate, and comforting. Volunteering to help others is a productive way to get yourself off your mind. When I’m chatting with a homeless man about where he spent the night before, my own problems become smaller and smaller.

Whatever it is you’re going through, whatever the condition of your wounded heart and soul, I’d like to challenge you to step outside your comfort zone. Get plugged in, and do good. The people you’re there to help may think you’re a lifesaver, but truly, they’re saving you. 

We’re all blessed with certain gifts that we can use to help others. What’s your gift? How can you use it to help others?

Until next time...

Don't Try to Figure it Out

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I was praying, asking God to give me something, anything, that would calm my overactive and confused mind. I mean, seriously, what happened to my life? What happened to the future I thought I’d have with my husband? How in the world did I end up here?

God spoke to me with an impression on my heart. What He said had such a profound affect on me I immediately grabbed my phone and wrote this note:

Eyes on Jesus

Trust Him

Don’t try to figure it out

Those three instructions reminded me of something I’d read in Joyce Meyer’s book, “Battlefield of the Mind.” If you haven’t yet read that book, I highly recommend it. Honestly, that book helped me leap over some major hurdles in the beginning of this journey. I still refer to the dog-eared and highlighted pages.

Joyce Meyer tackles this subject with the famous verse from Proverbs 3:5, Lean on, trust in, and be confident of the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

She goes on to say:

In other words, do not rely on reasoning. Reasoning opens the door for deception and brings much confusion.

I once asked the Lord why so many people are confused and He said to me, “Tell them to stop trying to figure everything out, and they will stop being confused.” I have found it to be absolutely true. Reasoning and confusion go together.

You and I can ponder a thing in our heart, we can hold it before the Lord and see if He desires to give us understanding, but the minute we start feeling confused, we have gone too far.

Her words were difficult for me to absorb at first. You see, I’m always trying to figure things out. When my husband walked out on me, I spent so much time trying to figure out why? What in the world would make a man do such a thing? Was I cruel? No. Was I a monster? No. Was I hideous? No. Why? Why? Why? I even stopped seeing a certain counselor because she kept asking me, Why? As if I had a clue.

After pondering the words in the book, I actually felt something strange: relief. I was relieved that I didn’t have to try to figure it out. I didn’t have to keep digging and digging until the whole mess made sense. There was no way it would ever make sense to me, and trying to make sense out of the non-sensical caused me a lot of grief and frustration.

This verse is also a good reminder: For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8 (ESV) And this one: For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33 (ESV)

Whatever your situation, wherever you are in your relationship, there may be something much bigger at play. My advice to you is to practice what God placed in my heart: Eyes on Jesus, trust Him, and don’t try to figure it out.

Until next time...