Fakebook

(photo credit)

We've all scrolled through Facebook, right? Down the screen comes endless photos of loving marriages, soon-to-be-professional-athlete kids, and Go-pro worthy vacations. Heck, even the desserts look perfect. Each touched up, strategically lit photo screams at those of us who are hurting, "Those people are perfect, you're not. They've got it all together, you don't."

Is that reality? I used to think so, but now I know better. Despite the smiling Facebook veneers, I know of marriages that are desperate, kids who are struggling, and finances that are on the brink. But if you were to only look at what you see, you'd think there isn't a single, struggling family in your circle of "friends."

I used to love Facebook, and I even posted from time to time. But as my marriage drifted further and further into a dark place, Facebook depressed me. As my husband worked more and more overtime to avoid home, there was that happy couple on another weekend getaway together, smiling in a selfie. As my husband blamed me for his unhappiness, that husband bought his wife another bouquet of flowers. Seeing those images again and again poisoned my heart and drew me deeper into despair.

Facebook can be a positive place to share good news and inspiration. It can also be a dangerous place.

Imagine the neglected husband or wife scrolling through Facebook. They see a post by a former high school flame. In a moment of weakness, they click on that person's profile. They go deep on the photos, and see how perfect that former flame's life has been. Aren't they a wonderful person now? So much better than the current spouse. They click. They send a message. The other person responds. They plan to meet, just to catch up. And soon, an affair begins. It happens all the time.

To be honest, I've considered it. Wouldn't a revenge affair be awesome? Wouldn't that heal my wounded soul, and remind me that I'm valuable? Loved? That I'm not a freakish monster? Thankfully, I never walked that path. But I've been desperate for love and attention, and desperate people do desperate things.

I'm not anti-Facebook. I'm in the "be careful of Facebook" camp. Be careful what you share. Be careful who you connect with. Be careful of how you receive those images. And remember: behind every smiling face is a story. Sometimes that story is full of pain, loss, denial, desperation, envy, rejection, and heartbreak. Everyone is dealing with something, even if it doesn't seem like it.

My nephew calls Facebook "Fakebook." And isn't that the reality?

Until next time...