Oops?

My oldest son and his friend were driving along a local freeway, when they passed a billboard for a divorce attorney that read, "OOPS!" In a nutshell, if your marriage was a big mistake, call us and we'll quickly sweep that nasty mistake out of your life.

My son told his friend, "I hate that billboard." She asked him why and he said, "Because they're making light of something that destroys people's lives." And then he wept.

Wow.

Such honest thoughts and emotions from a tender-hearted young man. His words make me wish I could grip the shoulders of every single person out there who's contemplating divorce--the husband or wife who's asking themselves these questions:

"What will make me happy?"
"What do I need?"
"How do I improve my future?"

Me. Me. Me. 
Mine. Mine. Mine. 
I. I. I. 
So much focus on self.

I wish I could shake that same person's shoulders and encourage them to ask the following instead:

"How can I make someone else happy?"
"What can I do to improve this marriage?"
"How can I be a better husband/wife and father/mother?"
"What's the right thing to do for my family?"

Yes, people survive divorce. Spouses survive it and children survive it. But it changes them forever. It leaves deep and lasting scars that could've been avoided if the married couple didn't have the attitude of, "Oops!" followed quickly by, "Next!"

I'm not suggesting that couples stay together just for the kids, or that an abused spouse stay in a dangerous situation. What I'm suggesting is that you seek help. Find answers. Search your own soul. Think about the other people in your family more than you think about yourself. Don't think that pulling the escape hatch on this "oops" will slip quietly into the night without collateral damage.

Marriage is a solemn promise, a covenant between you and your spouse before God, family and friends. "Oops" in marriage isn't the same as buying the wrong car, or choosing the wrong melon in the produce section.

If you're the person contemplating divorce, if you're the one who's committing adultery, if you're the one who's checked out of the marriage, I urge you to stop. Just stop! Think about what you're doing, and who you're doing it to. If you have children, think for a moment about them and what they need, and not just about you and what you need.

Until next time...